Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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