So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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