Cold hands, warm shart.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
