I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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