I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
