We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
