Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
