You really coming over, don't trick.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
