Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
