You really coming over, don't trick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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