Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
