What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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