oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
