Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
