If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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