drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my shit smells like andre
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Holy sore nipples Batman
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
