this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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