dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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