i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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