i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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