Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You ruined the universe
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize