i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
