I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
