Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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