My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
