lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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