Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My Sexting was not on an AP level
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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