would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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