Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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