You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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