God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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