so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope mine doesn't look like that
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
