I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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