so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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