i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
