That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Randomize