Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
