thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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