haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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