scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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