You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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