i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
