i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
