I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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