She is in my trunk
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
