Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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