you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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