i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think your dad took our porno
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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