i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
