i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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