I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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