Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
