She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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