I think my fart just growled at me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
