yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
did i walk over a car last night?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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