I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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