when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
