we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
