pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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